Colby reports directly to John Tesoro, President and CEO of TÜV SÜD America.
Colby is a solid supporter of executive decision-making, is a dependable presence at executive meetings, and scores highly in the cuteness department.
With his oversized adorability quotient, Colby constantly supports employee appreciation and motivation.
While Colby spent his puppyhood in suburbia, he is now decidedly an urban dog, making Boston his home. He likes many neighborhoods in Boston, but the North End is his most preferred part of the city. Not surprising at all, as it resonates with Colby’s Italian roots.
Colby values the power of exercise, and is an avid sports fan.
He loves hockey, football, lacrosse, and basketball.
Here Colby is out for some fresh air sporting his support for the Syracuse University Orange.
Zeus reports directly to Jim Marsh, President & CEO of TÜV SÜD GRC.
True to his mythological name, Zeus is a mighty contributor to executive success.
In addition to his vigilance for unbundling risk engineering, Zeus has his paws in cybersecurity best practices.
Zeus thrives on long walks and likes to keep his environment cold in all seasons.
Zeus is known to play with the thermostat, and he believes that environmental coolness gives him cutting edge, and keeps him sharp.
When it comes to sports, Zeus shows his unflappable support for Miami Dolphins.
Rusty Genson Cuddlesworth Schwartz (aka Rusty Martirossian for professional purposes)
Rusty reports directly to Jasmine Martirossian, Vice President of Marketing.
Known to many as Rusty the Explorer, Rusty leads with curiosity and roots for finding alternative smells and solutions.
Rusty is a known regular at his local Petco, and an esteemed member of the Boston Society for Loyal Pets.
Rusty’s exceptional creativity, work ethic, and contributions led to his promotion to the role of Chief Marketing Inspiration Officer (CMIO).
We are happy to have such a curious and dedicated guy on the Marketing Team.
Sam Hayden and Hazel Hayden – Sam Hayden and Hazel Haden have teamed up to share a role reporting directly to Laurence Hayden, Vice President PetroChem at TÜV SÜD America. This was a difficult decision, as they had to give up their careers on the Westminster Kennel Club show circuit to take on the new role. Sam Hayden is a pedigree King Chares Cavalier, which is the most English dog breed possible (we heard that Queen Elizabeth II would like to put in a word for corgis as the most English dog breed possible). While Hazel Hayden is a rescue mutt with mostly terrier DNA, her self-perception and high self-esteem placed her right at home in the British high society. In relocating to Houston, Texas, they are still aiming for high places, and were enticed by the offer to take on leadership roles for rope access initiatives. We are sure they will continue scaling new heights, it’s hard to imagine otherwise, given their extreme sophistication and cuteness. They do woof with the accent that’s known as Queen’s English.
Bia Pacheco – Bia is the middle child of Marcelo and Renata Pacheco, and she has taken on the official work role of reporting to Marcelo Pacheco. Like many middle children, she is constantly looking for attention. Bia is working on becoming an exemplary employee (that is still work in progress). Bia is frequently playing with her older brother, Ted the Cat, and her younger brother, Pedro the Boy Pacheco. Being her mother’s favorite, Bia always gets away with missing the toilet bowl. She has antiquated notions of leisure, and certainly does not like to exercise regularly. Bia does love her Sunday barbecue, though. From time to time, Bia is seen enjoying an occasional bike ride with her younger brother Pedro. Still, Bia’s primary pursuit is the preservation of her good looks, which is why she does not like staying in the sun much. A native of Brazil, Bia knows her bossa novas. Bia’s native tongue is Portuguese. Bia has made steady progress with her English, and deep down she knows she will win any beauty contest.
Luna Cardeñas and Maia Cardeñas – The Cardeñas Sisters report to Leonardo Cardeñas, CEO, Mexico, Central America, and the Caribbean. Their swift actions greatly facilitate executive decision-making. Luna and Maia try to stay ahead of market tends, and they anticipate client needs. This starts with their early morning rise. They try to set rapid pace to everything they undertake. While they were rescued as puppies when the Cardeñas family found them on the street, they have rapidly evolved with their taste for finer things and higher standards. To be fair, they put in the hard work to support their refined taste, and they can always be counted on for rapid response and protection.
Sadie Grantham and Copper Grantham
This dynamic duo reports directly to Karen Grantham, who leads IEP Sales.
Sadie and Copper team up to show Karen their unwavering support. Their unadulterated adorability alone improves the customer experience.
Sadie and Copper are passionate about timeliness and responsiveness to sales inquiries, and they model it in all areas of their lives.
They are proactive and show up on time for everything, starting with being present for breakfast, as you see in this picture.
Being action-oriented, Sadie and Copper have been known to bring their breakfast bowl to the table.
To stay in shape, they are proponents of long walks in the woods.
Benjamin Scott Stewart is an Australian Shepherd and Poodle mix (Aussiedoodle) who is a direct report to Kelly Stewart on the Marketing Team. Benjamin, or Benny, as his friends call him, decided to dress up in a bowtie for his first day on the job.
This showed his depth of understanding on how to present himself.
He also demonstrated amazing communication skills.
Benny immediately received a promotion to Manager of Snuggles.
Benny is also working on a side gig. He is writing a memoir tentatively titled “Lost Tail Chronicles.” Benny believes his book has bestseller potential as he has a leg and a paw up in marketing.
Cassie Escobio (née St. Amant)
Cassie is a Labrador/Pitbull/Catahoula mix.
Cassie is working in the role of junior apprecitice, with specialization in public relations and social media.
Cassie is a direct report to Shelby St. Amant on the Marketing Team.
Cassie is very young and new to this career life, which shows as she has been caught napping on the job way too often.
Despite her inclination to be napping, Cassie shows boundless energy, especially when she is running around in the backyard.
During her performance review, Cassie clarified that she sees her greatest contribution in the area of offering affection.
Indeed, she excels at that. Cassie also likes resting on Shelby St. Amant’s lap.
Finnegan and Wilbert Hammel
Finnegan and Wilbert have joined the Marketing Team. Both of them are reporting to Emily Hammel.
Finnegan and Wilbert are very astute and socially evolved.
They know how to be on their best behavior – albeit it helps when a treat or two are involved – and have quickly established a reputation of dependability in how they to provide support to Emily Hammel.
Both Finnegan and Wilbert are quick on the uptake, and are known for learning new tricks fast.
You can always count on these good guys to be up-to-date on the latest tricks.
They love long walks and an occasional game of fetch.
While full of energy and excitement, they like to focus on the area of their specialization, which is snuggle support.
Stella Bella Begala
Stella is a Yorkshire Terrier. She is reporting directly to Nicole Begala on the Marketing Team.
Stella is originally from Texas.
She is inquisitive, so the move to Massachusetts was a welcome change. She is also happy to have gotten away from the Texas humidity, as her fur looks better in the New England climate.
Stella, as her name suggests, is a star in everything she does (yes, Stella means “star” in Italian).
Her drive to excel resulted in a master's degree in cuddling.
Shella is an extrovert, and likes to network and create connections. She particularly enjoys focusing networking efforts on her many toys. During these networking sessions she treats every toy with full attention, making them feel like there are the only toy on the planet and the most important part of Stella’s life.
Keep an eye out, though, as Stella can be opportunistic and will steal your socks!
Jersey Godfrey (aka Mrs. Jersey or Baby Girl)
Jersey is reporting directly to Chris Godfrey. A lovely German Shepherd / Lab mix, Jersey is a recently retired Athlete due to tearing her ACL.
She used to love to catch frisbees in the air at full speed. Now, due to her ailment, ruling the soft and padded furniture is Jersey’s forte. Her favorite spot is the one you just got comfortable in.
With her tenacious presence, Jersey ensures that the CRM is continuously improving.
Jersey has high standards, which translates to being a picky eater and turning up her nose at dry dog food, but it’s because her boss Chris Godfrey is a legendary cook!
Jersey enjoys leisurely drives in the country and lazy days in the sun.
Thanks to living in the country, Jersey perfected the art and science of social distancing before it became a thing in March 2020.
Magnus Streed – Magnus reports to Pam Streed, and fends for the safety of the New Brighton lab.
Magnus is exceedingly socially conscious. He has a side gig as a therapy dog, and volunteers at the Ecumen Hospice.
Magnus is even cuter than he appears in this photo when he is professionally groomed.
With COVID-19, he has had to resort to home grooming, and he does not believe that it has delivered the level of excellence that he is accustomed to enjoying.
Magnus has filed a complaint with the Attorney General of Minnesota requesting that new standards be instituted for home grooming.
After all, he is used to the high-functioning excellence of the New Brighton lab, so why would he settle for lesser standards of excellence for his personal needs.
Louis Killeen Daly and Frankenstein “Frankie” Killeen Daly – The Killeen Daly duo reports to Jim Daly. Louis Killeen brings five years of Canada-specific experience, and recently recruited Frankenstein “Frankie” Killeen, who, with only eleven weeks of puppyhood experience, shows early promise in his understanding of the Canadian marketplace.
Despite his years of experience, Louis Killeen has kept his youthful spirit and feistiness, often acting like a big baby.
Louis loves to explore the universe by scratching. His gustatory skills are also very advanced, and he will eat anything, including the Daly furniture.
Frankie Killeen, has been apprenticing with Louis, focusing on refining his gustatory and chewing skills. Frankie has been coached by Louis on how to eat anything and everything.
They both ooze charm, and that’s how they succeed with change management. Jim Daly contends that those are the faces of success.
Slash Perez-Lopez (aka Chicken) – Slash reports to Michele Perez-Lopez.
Though nicknamed Chicken, Slash never chickens out to take new challenges.
In fact, he dove in with all four paws to hone his project coordination skills now that Michele has taken on a new role.
Slash embraces change with panache. He is super spunky and extremely energetic, and keeps projects on time and schedule by keeping everyone on their toes.
Always open to embracing new challenges, Slash always shows up with a pawsitive attitude.
When Michele logs off for the day, you can find them running a nearby trail or hunting squirrels in the Rockies.
Sansa Garcia and Sura Garcia
The duo of Garcia dogs reports to Tadeo Garcia, who himself is in a dual role with both conducting inspections and serving on the Americas Marketing Team.
Sansa and Sura similarly split their responsibilities. They are equally compensated, so neither feels shortchanged.
While Sansa is a purebred golden retriever, Sura is a mix of multiple dog DNAs.
They both started out at a shelter, but this was so long ago that they have no memory of being adopted.
Sansa and Sura only remember the love and caring of the Garcia family, and they are convinced they are blood relatives.
Since they live in Mexico, their native tongue is Spanish, but they are also fluent in English, and vastly facilitate cross-border trade with the United States.
Wish Cioffi – Wish has started reporting to Marcia Cioffi.
He brings ten years of previous experience to the job, though the previous experience was in familial capacity. Wish has special communication acumen, which is very appropriate for his role.
While Wish absolutely excels in his native Portuguese, he has developed rapidly advancing command of English.
Wish loves to play with his sister Blueberry the Cat, and particularly enjoys leisurely walks in the park with Bruno, his dedicated Daddy.
Wish has a hard time with drawing boundaries, and sometimes tries napping on the job, forgetting that he is dealing with Marcia his manager, rather than Marcia the Mom.
Just like everyone else in his family, Wish has a passion for food and is a gourmand. Wish’s greatest passion, seriously greatest of all, is for his young sister Giulia the Girl.
He just does everything Giulia wants.
Carly Vandersyde – Carly Vandersyde has signed up to join the Sales team reporting to Sue Vandersyde.
Carly is 12 pounds of energy and sheer cuteness. As a toddler, Carly brings a lot of energy to the team. She loves to go for walks, but has still not perfected the walking part, so she hops more than she walks. Sue thinks that Carly’s alter ego is a rabbit, but perhaps Carly is feeling the upcoming Easter in the air, so she might be trying to fit in.
She is a self-starter, and most projects lead her to the toy department, motivating her to constantly empty her basket of goodies and drag them throughout the house. Carly is a determined rule-maker. Apparently, Sue Vandersyde and her family are allowed to put Carly’s things away only after she has retired for the night or she just drags them back out. Carly also loves to dig lots of holes, maybe she heard China is safe now, and looking for an escape hatch.
Carly has perfected the begging eyes look, so it’s very hard to say no to that face, which maker her a very effective negotiators.
Carly is driven and dedicated, which is why she plays very hard all day and then crashes at about 8:00 pm every night, and has to be tucked in with lots of cuddles.
Millie Curtis – Millie Curtis is now reporting to Rob Curtis.
Millie is a one-year-old Goldendoodle who loves being off leash in the woods of New Hampshire.
At work, she excels in the enthusiasm department, yet still has to work on her discipline.
She shows up on time, but her follow-through with leads requires improvement.
Still a work in progress with obeying all commands, but nonetheless Millie’s a total sweetheart that loves to cuddle, fetch lacrosse balls, and play with her two human sisters.
Millie also likes taking naps in the office.
Landry Lueckemeyer and Oakley Lueckemeyer – The Lueckemeyer duo has started reporting to Layne Lueckemeyer. This has shown immediate impact as the volume of sales has drastically increased. Both Landry and Oakley are Toy Australian Shepherds.
At three years of age, Landry is the older sister and likes to assert her sisterly authority with two-year-old Oakley. The latter does not mind, and takes a more laid-back attitude in the office letting Landry carry more of the work responsibilities.
They both love to work hard and play hard. So after putting in long days in the office, they head to the beach for long walks, sunsets, golf cart rides, and boating. OK, let’s be honest, Layne Lueckemeyer made up the part about the sunsets, but wishful thinking won’t hurt under these circumstances.
Landry loves frisbees more than anything and she NEVER misses!
Layne has also disclosed that they have more pictures of Landry and Oakley than of their kids. He postulates it’s probably because Landry and Oakley are smarter and always happy to see them!
Chica Calderon – Chica Calderon has started reporting to Rebecca Calderon.
Chica brings twelve years of experience.
She is very fashion-conscious and has been known to model on catwalks during the Paris Fashion Week. She has endeavored to keep her weight under three pounds. But it’s not always glitz and glamour for Chica.
She also has a few battle scars from a fight with a hawk, but she won, and that’s all that counts! The fashion world has been inspired by Chica’s ear to promote more ear piercing (she has not told them about the hawk fight, but has rather marketed it as a fashion trend).
Chica is Rebecca’s trusted advisor and work companion. They study the REDCA TGN – RED Compliance together (check out the computer screen on the photo)!
Sadie Tichansky – Sadie Tichansky has been a welcome addition to the Marketing Team, and she reports directly to Hannah Tichansky. Sadie is a rescue from Hurricane Harvey in Texas, and she was adopted by the Tichansky family in 2017.
They are grateful to the ASPCA of Monmouth Country, NJ, for transporting Sadie to safety across states. The magical moment happened at the local Petsmart where the Tichansky family was buying cat food (treason!), and saw that they were having an adoption program. Sadie immediately walked up, and it was love at first sight. She went home right that day. She was named Sadie, as it’s a “happy name” and Sadie seemed to love it as well! Sadie is the sweetest dog in all the land (Per Tichansky Family, this is a fact, not opinion! Our Dog Panel has a number of other contenders, we should disclose)!
Sadie has a bit of separation anxiety when her family leave the house, but she is always first to greet you at the door when you return home. Her hobbies and passions in life include back scratches, trying to crawl into your lap, chasing the squirrels in the yard, and cuddling with the family cats, who could not resist Sadie’s charm! Hannah Tichansky postulates that either Sadie thinks she is a large cat, or the cats think they are small dogs. Either way, they all get along very well. If you’d like any more info on Sadie, please contact her publicist (this is a side gig) Hannah Tichansky who will be happy to provide a more extended profile.
Riley Gotto – Riley Gotto has started reporting to William Gotto. She supports in all efforts related to providing valuable consultative services on unbundled risk management.
Riley is part King Charles Cavalier, part Beagle, but she is totally 100% uniquely Riley, a protector and comforter. Riley is sharp both intellectually and physically.
When she is done with her consultative efforts for the day, she steps outside to enjoy some fresh air and go on some long leisurely walks. Riley is a big sports fan. She is an avid Notre Dame Fighting Irish fan and spends time with her adopted step-brothers, two German Shepherds, who have so far resisted joining the workforce.
Polly Maguire – Polly Maguire has joined the procurement team, and she reports directly to Brenda Maguire.
While Polly is soft and cuddly in her personal relationships, she is a tough negotiator with the outside vendors. She is also a stickler for details, being super detail-oriented.
Polly is fully versed in the intricacies of UCC (that stands for Uniform Commercial Code for the uninitiated). In fact, she can cite entire passages from the UCC, but you have to know her version of woof equivalents to fully comprehend the meaning.
Polly is a fashion plate, and likes to get new neckerchiefs every day. She believes this enhanced appearance helps her be a more effective guard dog (yes, she does that too).
Being a huge sports fan, Polly also likes to sport outfits that replicate the jerseys of her favorite teams. She is a huge fan of New England Patriots, and has lately been somewhat disbelieving and depressed that Tom Brady would choose another team (the name of that other team shall not be uttered in Polly’s presence).
On weekends, Polly likes to visit various New England locales. She is also partial to long walks in the woods.
Molly McBarksalot Maynard – Molly has taken on a new role as a direct report to Tanjia Maynard.
Molly’s job responsibilities include raising the alarm whenever there is food on the counter or a dangerous situation at the door, like the UPS guy delivering from Chewy.com That falls also into the Urgent category.
Molly prides herself on her snoozle skills demonstrated most effectively on the boss’s office sofa.
Molly’s positivity is unabating, and showcases it by greeting everyone with the utmost enthusiasm when they return to the room they left two minutes prior.
Molly believes in data and safety by the numbers.
Her KPIs for 2020 include increasing the aptitude for catching at least 5% of snackos thrown to her, as well as not chasing the cat for at least 80% of all encounters. Molly is altruistic, and forgoes monetary rewards.
She is compensated with a salary of snakos, hugs, and belly pats, and her salary is raised every year because she is always the “goodest and best” girl all around.
King Plunkett and Louie Plunkett - The Brothers Plunkett, specifically King Plunkett and Louie Plunkett have assumed new roles of procurement apprentices. In this new capacity, King and Louie are reporting to Debbie Plunkett. King and Louie Plunkett are Bernese Mountain Dogs. They will throw a major party to celebrate their big birthday in July (they are being optimistic that social distancing will be a thing of the past in July, but they also have alternative plans for a virtual birthday bash). You see, they will be turning 5, which is a big milestone.
King and Louie are gentle giants, who are very loving and affectionate. Their absolute preference is to be by Debbie Plunkett's side all day long. They take their apprenticeship very seriously, and follow in Debbie's footsteps quite literally. This bodes well for them as procurement apprentices, given that attention to detail and follow-through are critical characteristics for procurement professionals.
Also, king and Louie love to jump up and give big bear hugs. They love spa-type settings as getting their bodies and ears rubbed is always a priority. It's a good thing that both are in apprenticeship roles as King and Louie are pretty much inseparable. Sometimes, they are called a "two-headed dog" because they do everything together. They are very vocal and sometimes they talk back when they are getting reprimanded. It's funny to watch, and they have to get the last word in in everything they do - that's a well-established fact. Again, their take their apprenticeship very seriously, and make sure that they follow every move that Debbie makes, this includes following her into the bathroom.
Summer Stockmaster (aka Summer-Girl) – Summer Stockmaster has enlisted as a part-time HR coordinator. In this role, Summer is reporting to Lauretta Stockmaster. Summer could only take on this role on a part-time basis because she was already carrying out a part-time role reporting to Lauretta’s husband. The two home offices are located in different parts of the house. Lauretta’s office is in a sunny second floor bedroom that is now pulling double duty as an office, while Lauretta’s husband has been relegated to the basement. This is presented as a gentlemanly move on his part, and is a greatly appreciated sacrifice. Summer gets quite a bit of exercise commuting between the two offices inside the house.
Lauretta and her husband and named their dog “Summer” as that is their favorite time of year. As it happens, they also live on a street called Summer Lake, so Summer being Summer was destiny.
Summer is a 5-year-old Goldendoodle. She loves “hiking” the walking trails in Lauretta’s neighborhood. Summer has boundless energy, and she could play fetch all day long if Lauretta and her husband had the time. As you can see in the picture, she will patiently wait with the ball in her mouth for Lauretta and her husband to serve up the balls to get the game of fetch going.
Sometimes Summer gets so much exercise commuting between the two home offices as she splits her time between her two roles that she often lays on the stairway landing between the floors. On those meditative landing breaks Summer is contemplating to determine who needs the dog “therapy” more! As a member of the Human Resources Team, Lauretta has often told her office colleagues in Brecksville, OH that they should have a therapy dog in the office, and she also has repeatedly volunteered Summer’s services on a limited basis. Summer was trained as a therapy dog, but subsequently she decided that such a career path was too stressful, so better to opt for a nice cozy office setting…why not?
Trooper J. MacDonald
Trooper J. MacDonald has joined the Canada Account Executives’ Team, and her reports directly to Chris MacDonald.
Trooper is a Labradoodle, and is a frequent contender in adorability contests.
When he is not hard at work, Trooper shows his unwavering allegiance to Lucas, Chris MacDonald’s youngest son and house goalie.
Trooper loves long walks, and more long walks … and then even more walks.
He also loves playing mini sticks with the kids.
Tooper’s favorite food is chicken, he manages to get some occasionally.
Trooper is friendly with all people and other animals, and for recreation loves to chase neighborhood rabbits when he can.
Maggie Mae Flatwater Arch (aka Magpie, aka Maggie das Über Dog)
Maggie is reporting directly to Thomas Arch. Maggie quickly jumped into a leadership role by being promoted to Associate VP of Retrieving, as her retrieving skills are exceptional.
She has earned a Doctorate degree from Fetch Academy, and puts that expertise to use.
Maggie is multi-talented when it comes to her retrieving skills. She has refined her expertise to become a master hunter as well.Maggie is an expert duck retriever.
Given to volunteerism and in pursuit of higher calling, Maggie also pulls full-time duty as a Therapy dog, supporting Thomas Arch’s Daughter Laura who has been battling chronic Lyme Disease for over 11 years. Maggie brightens Laura’s days with her dedication and love.
Milo is a tough negotiator, so please don’t be misled by that immense cuteness.
Though Milo first showed up to be an apprentice reporting to Thomas Maier, he went through so many rounds of negotiation that Thomas Maier determined that it was best for him to report to Milo, and then unleash Milo onto the world to let him conquer all projects leveraging his cuteness and persistence.
Thomas Maier stands by his decision, and he has been in awe with his admiration for Milo’s leadership style and mental resilience through these times of concern and confinement.
Milo so inspires Thomas that the latter is now actively trying to become Milo’s lookalike by skipping haircuts and shaving.
Remy is a Special Treat Assessor in the MHS-Cardiovascular Group, who reports to David Ormonde.
Remy is a one-year-old Basenji and Mountain Cur mix.
Remy comes with boundless enthusiasm and a passion for overcoming challenges relating to food.
Remy is determined to always secure a ready supply of food. He is a gourmand, and values variety in his food.
However, Remy’s enthusiasm is not limited to the office.
He is an avid outdoorsman, and fearlessly braves the Minnesota snow in order to maintain a squirrel-free workplace.
Remy views the area outside the office as the extension of office space, and he brings the same level of dedication to his work both inside and outside the office.
Remy does not fully understand the ramifications of MDR yet, but he is trying his best!
Niko Segura is now reporting to Raul Segura. Since Niko was asked to share a single job with Logan, he has requested through rather consistent and persistent entreaties that he at least get individually profiled among the Professional Pooches of TÜV SÜD.
It’s not just a single job that Niko shares with Logan, it’s also commonality in personality that they have. They are both couch potatoes.
They are overachievers, though, in the food consumption department. They also work as substitute vacuum cleaners sweeping floors clean, especially if any food trace is detected. They are mounting a stiff competition with Roomba.
Logan Segura is the companion job sharer with Niko Segura, and reports directly to Raul Segura.
As Niko Segura’s profile shared, Logan revels in being a couch potato.
Just like Niko, Logan too is a proficient vacuum cleaner.
In fact, he has lobbied the Segura household to declare steak a hazardous substance requiring his immediate clean-up.
He effectively explained that floors need to be effectively cleaned of any steak as a service to humanity, or at least to the Segura household.
Despite their champion couch potato status, both Logan and Niko are hard workers when it comes to food.
Hershey Kisses Coleman – Hershey reports to Brian Coleman, Director of Global Sales – CPS.
He remains gainfully employed due to nepotism and Brian’s desire to remain out of the ‘Dog house.” Hersey is the baby among 5 little Colemans and, at present, he is Mrs. Coleman’s Favorite!
Hersey is a Chihuahua/Pitbull mix with the attention span of a wet mop. He was hired in a security capacity, but has had several lateral position changes due to his friendly nature and love of strangers. He now holds a Consultative role and acts as a sounding board for Brian.
When Hershey senses stress, he pulls Brian away from his computer for rubs, walks, and an occasional tussling match. Brian is not sure how this helps him at all, but Hershey seems to enjoy it.
Hershey has been with the company for a little over 16 months, and was born for this role. He has a penchant for sunbathing, afternoon naps, excessive belly rubs, kisses, and defying the rules.
Brian is not sure why Hershey remains on the payroll other than him being super cute and loving (and there is nepotism at play too).
Fiona Xavier (aka Brazilian Princess)
Fiona reports directly to Maria Edilene Xavier, Deputy Head of CRT BRA. Fiona is the best company EVER!!! Like Maria, Fiona is always open to taking on new challenges, and to wading into uncharted waters. If anyone is happy about working from home, it’s definitely Fiona. She is reveling in this arrangement and thriving.
Fiona is also known as a Brazilian Princess, because she is both treated as one and she traces her roots to the pets of the Brazilian Imperial Family (it’s not a joke, Brazil did have an Imperial Family).
Fiona also loves to play, smile, and run after the ball. She is very, very smart, respectful, and courteous (remember the upbringing of her imperial ancestors.
Her presence brings happiness, peace, love and kindness. In a less aristocratic move, Fiona likes to eat junk food, yet she makes up for it by her love of running in the garden.
Red Lahetta and Andy Lahetta
Red and Andy are reporting to Susan Lahetta. They are named after the Shawshank Redemption characters.
These young guys are already gentlemanly in everything they do. They have been diligently guarding the windows, making sure Susan is not disturbed by any squirrels or small chipmunks. Both Red and Andy understand how important it is that Susan remain undisturbed while conducting important business.
Every few hours, Andy likes to check in on Susan’s progress and rewards her with sweet kisses before leaving Susan’s office to continue in his guard duties. These young men’s commitment to their tasks earns them special bonuses in the form of treats and snacks. Red and Andy have signed to help Susan on a contractual basis while she fosters them, and they are open to being adopted.
Anyone interested in getting these two helpers can do so by visiting the website of the Italian Greyhound Rescue of Ohio.
While on paper Buddy Wierl is expected to report to Paul Wierl, it’s well-established that Buddy Wierl doesn’t report to anyone!
Though Buddy marginally listens better than the kids of the household, Paul Wierl has come to the realization that the entire household reports to Buddy.
Buddy is 12 ¼ years old (for dogs ¼ years matter), which is considered ancient for Chocolate Lab/Chesapeake Bay Retrievers.
The years have added to Buddy’s wisdom and have further strengthened the power of his convictions.
Buddy was born hungry, his favorite activities are eating and chewing sticks .
Maggie is reporting directly to Natalya Peshkin. At four and a half years of age, Maggie has boundless energy.
She is a mix of Chesapeake Bay Retriever and West Highland White Terrier.
After a job as a Bike Chasing Associate at her previous employer, she was hired by the Peshkin household 3 years ago as a Fetch Regulatory Compliance Officer.
In this position, Maggie developed a comprehensive Fetch procedure, which she enforces several times a day.
She even developed a Fetch Procedure manual, which is available online.
In addition to this, Maggie carries out part-time duties as a Rodent Control Specialist, Senior Tail Wagger, and Comic Relief Expert.
In her free time, Maggie participates in recreational squirrel-chasing and dog-wrestling.
KC Kravetz is now reporting to PJ Kravetz, a Test Technician at the Auburn Hills, MI lab. Privately, PJ admits that the arrangement is the other way around and he reports to KC.
He is at peace with that, though, because KC’s leadership skills are impeccable.
KC can be counted on to join any meeting as long as there are carrots, apples, peanut butter, and belly rubs involved. KC also puts a premium on long leisurely naps that should be spaced throughout the day.
KC traces her heritage to Pitbulls and Labradors, and she has taken the best treats from both sides.
Her Pit smile and Labrador playfulness make her an essential asset to any team and ensure that folks around her are smiling.
Additionally, KC volunteers in the community acting as a firefighter and EMT assistant.Though she has an assistant’s role in the community affairs, KC is justifiably referred to as the “CEO of Snuggles and Playing Ball.”
Bailey has started reporting to Michael “Mike” J. Kerby. Bailey’s primary role involves providing inspiration for enhanced product management. Bailey excels at everything she does. Bailey is so eager to excel that even if she did not excel, you’d think she did. Bailey has boundless energy, she likes running around in circles, though when it comes to decision-making, there is no running around in circles, she clearly zeroes in on the right decision.
Bailey Kerby is a fluffball of cuteness. It’s a good thing that she is outgoing because when she goes out on walks, even the glummest looking and dejected strangers pause to compliment her. As they do this, they inevitably smile. This is not accidental. Bailey specializes in brightening the day of everyone who comes into her orbit.
In fact, she brings so much cheer and positivity into the world that it is tantamount to public service.
Buster Utesch (aka Buster the Arson Dog, aka RMR Buster Ram Kicker)
Buster is now reporting to James Utesch on a full-time basis. Buster brings a wealth of previous professional experience.
Buster is a seven-year-old American Labrador born on July 1, 2012 in Fort Worth, Texas. July 1 is Canada Day, so in honor of that Buster sports red and white outfits on his birthday.
After his initial puppy training, Buster was flown to James Utesch in California, where James worked in the fire service.
Once Buster reached 13 months of age, he was sent to professional dog training academy for 8 months (that’s like Navy Seal Training for dogs). After that he pledged eternal allegiance to James, and has never left his side.
Buster is a fun-loving pup that gets along with everyone, and every type of dog, but once you put his vest and collar on, he is all business. Strictly speaking, since James Utesch is a retired fire chief / fire investigator, that means Buster is retired too! He still doesn’t know it as James keeps up on Buster’s training at least monthly.
Best part is since he is an registered service dog he gets to do some interesting travel along with James!
Cleopatra Shaw (aka Cleopatra, Queen of the Shaw Realm)
Cleopatra Shaw has started reporting to Gayle Shaw. It became clear very quickly that this is a pro forma arrangement only.
After all, how would you expect a Queen of a Realm, one named Cleopatra, to engage in reporting relationships.
Cleopatra is the Queen of the Shaw household, or, rather, the Shaw Realm, as she prefers to call it.
Cleopatra has regal tastes and values the finer things in life.
She will only eat meals that master chefs with three Michelin Stars have prepared.
Cleopatra is also a patron of the arts, and she is quite artistic herself.
For instance, she woofs along when opera arias are playing.
Cleopatra delivers on her regal duties ensuring that the Shaw household, excuse me, Realm, is well-protected.
For financial accountability purposes, Jojo Fletcher is now listed as reporting Andrew Fletcher.
In reality, Jojo Fletcher reports to no one – this is a deep-seated conviction that is the foundation of Jojo’s philosophy of life.
When not in a philosophical state of mind, JoJo Fletcher enjoys digging on the beach, chasing balls and squirrels, nipping ankles and hiding under the sofa, which also serves as the store for “stolen” items.
JoJo is an animal shelter rescue. Driven by intense curiosity and unsure of her heritage, Jojo’s human family did a DNA test and found out she is a small Poodle/Border Collie/Australian Shepherd Mix. It’s the Australian Shepher genes that explain all the herding! Jojo is now spending her time researching her relatives and their proclivities.
JoJo’s mission in life is to keep her two-legged family entertained while they are house-bound. Ever the vigilant one, she also keeps them under close watch for any non-compliant behavior, and announces her presence by barking during all conference calls.
If the conference calls are unduly long, she makes it be known through intensified barking.
Dexter Casillas and Sam Casillas
Dexter and Sam Casillas have cheerfully offered up their services, and are now reporting to Craig Casillas.
Dexter is an adult black-tri Australian Shepherd and Sam is a red-tri Australian Shepherd puppy. Truly a puppy, Sam is only four months old. Given the strong herding skills inherent to their shepherding DNA, neither of them is taking kindly to social distancing.
This business of social distancing has robbed them of their ability of herding anyone and anything – cats, toys, unruly adults. They are a little bummed about this, but they don’t spend their time moping about it.
When it comes to their work responsibilities, Dexter and Sam are very cheerful helpers. When they sense waning enthusiasm on conference calls, they start cheering (you have to be a pro to differentiate between different types of barking) to amp up the energy in the room, meaning the virtual conference room.
They show up for their duties every day. Craig has noticed that Dexter and Sam sniff around his laptop on weekends. It’s their withdrawal symptom because of being temporarily excluded from conference calls. But extra treats do the trick, and assuage the signs of their withdrawal.
Hercules Shernisky and Zeus Shernisky
The Shernisky Pooches, Hercules and Zeus, are now reporting to Thomas “Tom” Shernisky.
They keep up with their defined duties and responsibilities and stay up-to-date with the world affairs worthy of their attention.
They are very selective, though. They avoid the news, as they find the news reports depressing. Living in denial allows them to be more positive.
The Shernisky Pooches love the outdoors. Digging in the backyard is one of their favorite pastimes. In fact, they dig so much in one specific area that grass has given up on growing there. That’s just as well because the Shernisky Pooches like it that way.
They also enjoy each other’s company, and can spend hours conversing together, which to the uninitiated sounds like woofing.
The neighbors don’t quite understand their woofing, but the Shernisky Pooches stay in the flow, which is that psychological state of full engagement, and keep woofing away.
Ti-chien is now reporting to Matthieu Rubin. They both operate out of the arts capital of the world, Paris, which is why Ti-chien est trés artistique et magnifique (translation won’t be provided, so either brush up on your French or take it up).
Living in the suburbs of Paris is not an ideal situation for a dog to run around, therefore, Ti-chien is the ideal pooch to support Matthieu.
By the way, if Ti-chien is too exotic-sounding to you, you can call him “Lil’dog” in English.
This very unique and amazing dog sculpture was created by Mathhieu Rubin’s good friend, Eric Vanstaen (you can view Eric’s other work on his eponymous website). Eric created Ti-chien out of recycled electrical equipment, such as an HV isolator and HV cable fasteners. As a boiler and machinery consultant, Matthieu just loves and is captivated by this concept.
As a puppy, Ti-chien is very well-educated and well-behaved. Ti-chien is 100% clean and never barks at postmen. This is why Matthieu Rubin is not afraid of leaving Ti-chien alone in the apartment when he is out for surveys, and lets him stay outside on the balcony whenever he wants.
Coco has started her formal advisory role reporting to Erik Hoover. Coco has quickly proven her mettle, and has become a trusted advisor.
Coco has also earned a high security clearance, and can be entrusted with confidential documents. Those that are marked “Confidential,” are never chewed.
Coco originally hails from the Chihuahua region of South America. She brings eight years of experience performing executive protection duties in all manner of operating environments. Due to her unique qualifications, Coco’s advisory responsibilities cover areas of Security, Wellbeing and Comic Relief.
Coco is also full of energy, so she can be counted on to volunteer for squirrel-chasing and hole-digging duties.
The latter is handy, particularly when it’s time to plant spring flowers.
Jane is now reporting to John Barry, a Senior Technician based in Plymouth, Minnesota.
Jane is very technically-minded herself, so she had done really well jumping into her new role.
Jane is safety-conscious, and she ensures that any equipment that could potentially pose even remote danger is swiftly decommissioned.
Jane is a very patriotic dog, and demands that any space where she works or rests have its own American flag.
She pawlutes (had to coin a new word – “pawlutes” stands for saluting with a paw) the flag daily – at dawn and at dusk.
Jane is very affectionate, and aside from loving her country, she loves all humans, dogs, moving creatures whose paths she crosses.
It has been said that Jane has a surfeit oxytocin, the love hormone.
Sunshine is now reporting to Francis “Frank” Hamtak, an Authorized Inspection Supervisor.
Frank and Sunshine both operate out of Normangee, Texas.
Sunshine is a two-year-old young dog.
Despite her young age, Sunshine brings a lot of experience where supervisory duties are concerned.
When taking time to rest, Sunshine enjoys a leisurely siesta.
At other times, Sunshine lays in her bed in Frank’s office and can’t wait till he gets up to stretch his legs.
First thing she wants is for Frank to take her for a ride so she can “inspect” the deer herd, or inspect the agility of an occasional squirrel, testing the squirrel’s ability to evade being chased.
A quick stop at the lake, and Sunshine feels like she’s gone to Retriever Heaven.
Moose has started reporting to John Cameron, a Thermographer, operating out of Chicago, Illinois.
Moose revels in cold Illinois winters. Moose loves all seasons, in fact, the more weather variation, the happier Moose is. This speaks to Moose’s agility to adjust to the changing environment.
In wintertime, Moose and John love the fresh Illinois snow. Moose makes doggie angels in the fresh snow. Then he starts rolling in snow. This is not just play. This is part of public service that Moose provides by creating walking paths for pedestrians.
Given his name, Moose is frequently mistaken for a Canadian dog. Who knows, maybe he was smuggled across the border, which may explain why both John and Moose are vague about Moose’s heritage and the circumstances under which Moose arrived in Illinois.
Moose Cameron is a bundle of energy, is constantly active, and, hence, makes up for the expended energy with a very healthy appetite.
Moose is not gluttonous, just replacing lost calories, which is why he is frequently seen feasting.
Winston Richards (aka Moose Richards)
Winston Richards has started reporting directly to Gary Richards. Winston is inquisitive and has an entrepreneurial spirit.
Winston will not give up his quest for novel undertakings.
In the business world, those people are called “serial entrepreneurs,” though Winston does not quite like the word “serial” in that phrase as it creates an association with other unsavory “serial” types … like … you can guess it.
Winston is a very active dog, and he loves long walks.
Like his famous namesake (i.e., the one who served as Prime Minister twice and earned a Nobel Prize for Literature), Winston is also a great showman.
He demonstrates this by bouncing off the furniture when guests arrive at the house. He’s as big as most of the humans in the Richards house, but thinks he is a lap dog. Winston will play fetch until your arm falls off. Winston is also sentimental, he gets sad and sits by the door whenever a family member leaves, but is always the first to greet you when you arrive home.
Boy Blue Greenwood - Boy Blue has started reporting to Katie Greenwood, Director of Employee Development. Boy Blue will assist in all matters related to developing our employees.
Boy Blue is particularly well-positioned for his new role. He is a very learned dog, with an unquenchable thirst for knowledge. So much so that Boy Blue’s favorite place around the house is the bookcase. He is also focused on finding the most effective and efficient solutions. So hanging around the bookcase makes perfect sense. He maximizes his time by being able to read, rest, and nap all in one place.
Boy Blue is adventurous too, especially if risk-taking will pay off with added knowledge. He likes climbing different shelves on the bookcase. In fact, it was during one of his climbs on the top shelf that he took a tumble, and, unfortunately, lost his hind leg. Anyone else would have been crushed, but Boy Blue tapped into his inner well of positivity and doubled down on his exercise regimen. His recovery was rather swift despite the gravity of his unfortunate injury.
Boy Blue is also very tactful and sensitive. Katie Greenwood is very proud of Boy Blue, and always introduces her cherished English bulldog to everyone. Boy Blue knows he is a French Bulldog, but he never corrects Katie, because he knows how much he is loved an appreciated. Boy Blue is very artistic, loves listening to music, and always sports his headphones – Ooh-La-La – hoping that they will offer a clue to his true breed in due time.
Maya has started reporting to Chris Goddard, a Senior Risk Consultant. Maya is a purebred Shih Tzu who recently turned two years old. Given Maya’s youthful enthusiasm for everything outdoors, her commitment to work has been on a bit of shaky ground. She sporadically disappears. Maya may require some ethics training because she has been known to solicit bribes from Chris’s wife to entice her to come back to work.
Maya excels as a highly vigilant guard dog for the Goddard house protecting them from neighborhood cats and squirrels by barking viciously at them through well-secured windows and doors until they wander away.
The outdoors holds endless attraction to Maya – so many more squirrels and cats to chase away. She loves to take walks and check out all the neighborhood lawns, and the local park. She also loves to show off herself, her latest hairdos and outfits. A classic case of loving to “see and be seen.”
Maya is very good at sitting on laps and will often come upstairs to Chris’s office when she is bored and whine until he picks her up and holds her in his lap while he works.She is the first pet Chris’s wife has had in her entire life, and now she wonders why we did not get one sooner (which is what the Goddards’ grown boys often ask?!?!).
Lily Dwinell - Lily is now reporting to Nirali Dwinell, a Quality Auditor. Lily is ideal for her new role, and she uses her olfactory talents to ensure that all smells in her environment are up to snuff and meet Lily’s very high standards quality.
Lily is a 4-year-ol shepherd mix, and she is 100% a people person. She would much rather hang out with people than dogs at the dog park! Lily is a very learned dog with advanced education and a multitude of degrees. She has already earned master’s degrees in snuggling, modeling, and toy destruction. The toy destruction part is really tied to Lily’s side gig facilitating toy safety testing for the PS division.
Above all else, Lily thinks her main job is to guard the windows to keep away any squirrels, delivery people, and anyone walking too close to her home. When she is not holding down her fort, she enjoys laying in the sun, playing with her toy flamingo, and most of all, going on hikes where she can be off the leash. Lily likes to check up ahead and behind, and then report back when hiking, making her walks/runs double the amount of Mom and Dad.
As head of the household, Lily makes sure everyone is working diligently by sitting by their side all day. She makes sure everyone takes appropriate breaks several times a day for treats, potty breaks, and sun time. She has recently become a master trickster, she lets her Mom and Dad know she has to go out to use the bathroom about 30x a day, but really just want to run and play outside. She gets them every time!
Bramblepants is now reporting to Teddy Maclaurin in purchasing. Bramblepants is really ideal for this role as he can suss out the right deals, his acute sense of smell really enhances his abilities in this area.
Bramblepants is a rescue dog from the mountains of Asheville, North Carolina.
He will turn 14 in June, 2020! He is very shy, but sweet, if not a little bit aloof. The aloofness comes from his misguided notions of past glory.
While in Asheville, North Carolina, as a puppy, Bramblepants got lost and wandered onto the grounds of Biltmore, the famed Vanderbilt estate. The gardeners there took him in, and nurtured him for a while.
This set such high standards and expectations for Bramblepants. At Biltmore, even his dog bowl was an antique gold-plated piece. Hence, the exceptionally high standards.
This also explains why Bramblepants is not interested in toys, because conventional toys definitely won’t cut it. But Bramblepants still has the capacity to find joy in simple things. He does love taking a good nap. He also enjoys leisurely walks in the woods.
Xena Lysykh (aka Xena the Warrior Princess)
Xena, through her sharp and piercing enthusiasm earned an apprenticeship spot on our controlling team, and she reports directly to Eduard Lysykh.
Though she is a hedgehog, Xena thinks she has pooch energy, charm, and warmth, and she hogs all the attention (pun intended).
Xena is very good with numbers. She refined her mathematical skills while trying to count her own quills.
When not focused on making the numbers add up, Xena goes into a Zen meditative state, rejoicing at the thought of how much she accomplishes as an apprentice controller, and how much she brightens Eduard’s day.
Dean Martin Saffioti and Frank Sinatra Saffioti
Dean and Frank are honorary additions as direct reports to Dawn Saffioti on the marketing team.
These two gentleman are known as the dynamic duo of problem solving.
When they put their heads together, there is no telling what creative genius will come.
Despite what you may see in this picture, they are huge advocates of social distancing.
Midnight Kwan – Midnight has joined the ranks of the IT Team, and is reporting to Danica Kwan.
Midnight likes to help with laptop issues, and is normally on top of the situation.
Yeap, laptop surfaces are Midnight’s preferred territory.
Midnight is about 15 or 16 years old, she likes being mysterious about her age.
Midnight has earned a master’s degree in napping. She practices her napping craft consistently, and can often be found taking a nap in various places around the house – everywhere but her cat bed.
During the day, she likes to help ‘paw’ductivity by encouraging frequent breaks by meowing loudly until she gets attention.
She also enjoys helping by sitting under you when doing planks, knocking puzzle pieces off the table to make it more challenging, and sitting on your hands when you are trying to type.
Midnight is all in all the time, and she is always present.
Margaux Castilho, Blue Castilho, Hadji Castilho, and Brigitte Castilho (aka The Four Musketeers) – The Castillo geniuses – Margaux, Blue, Hadji, and Brigitte – have started reporting to Juliana Castillo. They take a team approach to the work they do, and are guided by the motto of “One for all and all for one,” which is why they are nicknamed The Four Musketeers.
Margaux was the pioneer in joining the Castilho household, while Blue, Hadji and Brigitte used their considerable charms to convince an NGO that helps animals that live in the streets to place them in the Castilho household.
The four have become Juliana Castilho’s affectionate companions and partners, always providing sage counsel at work. They charm spreads even when they sleeping in the chair next to Juliana or on her feet. Juliana is surprised by the intelligence of these cats. She always had dogs because she lived at a home with a yard. Currently living in an apartment, Juliana opted for a more peaceful animal that lived well in smaller spaces. They love their owner and demonstrate this all the time by rubbing their heads against her, with a warm meow, or simply by lying on her lap.
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